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VIII
I was interested in getting some wheels that were a little flashier and little faster than the VW that was getting me around, and Scott mentioned that he might be able to talk to his parents about co-signing on a loan for me. This sounded like a fantastic deal to me, and so I didn’t waste any time lining up nearly eight grand worth of Honda CBR 600 crotch rocket, with helmet and full riding leathers on the side. They signed the loan and now I truly had a vehicle with which I could live on the edge. A lot of people told me that I should be careful on the bike. "Too many people are dying," they said. I’d have to remind them that was the main reason that I bought the thing. So I could die on it. Who wants to die in their sleep, or choking on a ball of phlegm, unable to breathe because their own lungs just can’t pull their own weight any more? I wanted to die with my hair on fire, going as fast as I can- cutting the edge. I wanted to die going around a corner doing ninety-five miles an hour, and just go boom. I wanted to arrive in the after life doing one hundred and twenty; roll through the pearly gates and say, "Hey, I’m here!" Everybody else can step through. I want to roll through. When I first got on the bike I didn’t really know how to ride it that well. It did zero to sixty in about 3.4 seconds with a top end of about 145 to 150. Learning to ride like an expert became my passion. I talked to professional motorcycle racers and learned the tricks of the trade. I practiced until I could go into a turn and scrape the hard rubber knee pads of my leather riding suit along the ground. I practiced until I could pull a wheelie and ride it for half a mile. Every time I got on the freeway I would take the Honda up to 120 miles an hour. I’ve been up to 145 miles an hour more times than I can count on my hands…and toes. I took insane chances and emerged unscathed. My fledgling riding abilities had grown to compensate for the lunatical risks that I took. I tried to kill myself again and again, but each time I had the nerve and talent to pull my fat out of the fire.
Buying a motorcycle and, more accurately, riding it as though I were Evil Knievel’s bastard child made me a target of the local constabulary. I was in the parking lot of Alfie’s pizza when a man approached me and wanted to talk about motorcycles. He was enthusiastic and asked me how fast my bike would go. Eventually he got around to asking me where I liked to kick out the jams and open up the throttle. I told him that the flats between Everett and Marysville made a good place to open her up. He kind of nodded his head and excused himself. I watched as he crossed the parking lot and got into a Washington State Patrol Car. The guy was a state trooper,
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